… wrote some pretty frickin’ sweet limericks!

Before we (finally) announce the winners of our third-anniversary contest, I just want to thank all of the participants–we had a wide range of entertaining submissions to judge, and it was really difficult to narrow it down to our favorites! I also want to apologize for the delay in announcing the winners; I was unexpectedly called out of town for several days on a personal matter, and blogging unfortunately had to take a back seat to settling some affairs.

I also want to take a moment to acknowledge my co-authors: Carrie, Nikki, and Sarah. Three years, over four hundred and fifty posts, and nearly half a million hits later, it’s still nothing short of pure, unadulterated FUN to write reviews, plan out events, host giveaways, and just completely fangirl out over our favorite movies. I hope there are many more years of blogging awesomeness in our collective future.

Okay, now on to why you’re all REALLY here–you want to know who won those delicious, delicious prizes! (Mmm … winning.)

Without further ado …

In third place, with her lovely take on a Preston Sturges screwball classic, is Natalie from In the Mood!

Once was a Lady named Eve
With many a trick up her sleeve.
The sucker did fall,
When he heard her sweet call,
And then, of his senses, took leave.

Natalie wins her choice of either a year’s subscription to Now Playing or a copy of the TCM Classic Movie Trivia book!

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In second place, with a delightfully creepy limerick honoring the delightfully creepy Vincent Price, is Becky of ClassicBecky’s Brain Food!

The crazed Dr. Phibes, played by Price,
Loved to kill with creative device.
He was mad as a hatter,
But what does that matter?
His methods were all so precise!

Becky wins a copy of the utterly fantastic Kino Buster Keaton Short Films Collection on DVD!

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And last but certainly not least, the winner of the BIG CLASSIC FILM ENCHILADA (aka the $50 gift card to TCM Shop) is … none other than the woman with whom I (sometimes) share my secret lover, Cary Grant–Jill of Sittin’ on a Backyard Fence! Her ode to Gene Kelly’s posterior garnered the most accolades from the judges (i.e. the lustful-minded gals of this blog) by far:

The man Kelly was known for his class
for women he bowed when he’d pass
When he yelled “Gotta Dance!”
All fell in a trance
Admiring his luscious firm ass.

Congratulations to Jill, Becky, and Natalie, and again, many thanks to everyone who participated and helped spread the word about this contest!

Our third-anniversary limerick contest ENDS on Thursday at midnight … and we’ve had exactly one entry so far. Now, I know a lot of you folks out there are veritable EMPERORS of procrastination like myself–but c’mon, guys and gals, put on your poetical hats and get those limericks posted pronto so we can give away these awesome prizes!

Since it’s hardly fair that we ask you to contribute without throwing out a few of our own efforts, here’s a couple of limericks from the dubious talents of your True Classics crew …

Everyone in Frisco, it seems
Seeks the jeweled bird that gleams.
But in the end, it’s for naught
For the thing they all sought
Is only the stuff of dreams.

(The Maltese Falcon, 1941)

An overnight mother is driven
To return the baby she’s given
But the babe is appealing,
And maternal, she’s feeling,
So she keeps it–AND David Niven!

(Bachelor Mother, 1939)

Okay, so this last one, revolving around one of the most famous lines in movie history, is … well, it’s pretty damn raunchy (and yes, it came directly from the not-so-beautiful mind of yours truly). And because of that, I’ve whited it out so as not to offend anyone who might not care to read it. Just highlight the white space below and you’ll be able to see it. (And if you’re offended after the fact, well, that’s not my fault, because I just warned you!)

“Rosebud,” they said in the obit,
Was the last word his voice ever writ.
They all searched in vain
For the secret of Kane,
Not knowing they all sought a clit.

(Citizen Kane, 1941)

(For those wondering what this means, this article explains it pretty well.)

So now it’s YOUR turn … give it your best shot, and get rhymin’! Entries must be posted by midnight on November 29th. And make sure to send us an email or leave a comment on this post once your entry is complete!

There once were four bloggers who sought
To host a fun contest, and thought,
“Haikus have been done,
And though they’re much fun,
it’s LIMERICKS we’d like to see wrought!”

I think you know what’s coming …

Yes, boys and girls, we’ve decided to have a good time with this year’s anniversary contest (cue the diabolical laughter), and ask you to put on your creative thinking caps to WOW us with a custom-crafted classic movie limerick!

The rules for this contest are simple: write a limerick that is related to classic film in some form or fashion (for the purposes of this contest–and to allow a wider choice of topics–we will define a “classic” film as anything released in or prior to 1982). Post the limerick on your blog and include a link to this page. Then let us know about your entry by either emailing us the link, leaving a comment on this post, or tweeting the link to @trueclassics.

Your limerick can be funny or moving, clean or obscene (as, let’s face it, most good limericks are). Just have fun with it! There are no limits to your creativity with this contest–well, except for the ones set by the form itself (if you need a refresher on what constitutes “limerical form,” so to speak, the Wikipedia entry on the style is helpful).

There’s no limit to the number of limericks you can submit for this contest, so feel free to let your inner poet loose as many times as you like. After all, more entries = greater odds that you’ll win a prize!

And speaking of prizes, you may be asking yourself, “Self, what do you suppose those loopy True Classics gals will give me, should I create the awesomest classic film-related limerick in all the land?”

Well, here’s what’s up for grabs!

Our first-place winner will receive a $50 gift card to the TCM Shop, just in time for Christmas shopping! (Of course, you could always just spend all of that on yourself. We won’t tell.)

Our second-place winner will receive a copy of the fantastic Buster Keaton–The Short Films Collection: 1920-1923 DVD box set from Kino! (This set is an awesome–and necessary–addition to any film fan’s collection.)

And for our third-place winner, we have a choice of either a copy of the TCM Classic Movie Trivia book OR a one-year subscription to Now Playing! (Both are must-haves for the modern classic movie fan!)

[Note: in order to win a prize, you must be a resident of the United States or Canada.]

All entries must be posted on your blog by midnight CST on November 29th, and any links should be emailed/posted/tweeted to us by that deadline. The judging period will last from November 30th to December 2nd. The winners will be announced on our site on Monday, December 3rd!

If you have any questions about this contest or the rules, leave a comment on this post or email us at trueclassicsblog (at) gmail dot com.

Thanks in advance for helping us celebrate three years of blogging here at True Classics!