Our third-anniversary limerick contest ENDS on Thursday at midnight … and we’ve had exactly one entry so far. Now, I know a lot of you folks out there are veritable EMPERORS of procrastination like myself–but c’mon, guys and gals, put on your poetical hats and get those limericks posted pronto so we can give away these awesome prizes!
Since it’s hardly fair that we ask you to contribute without throwing out a few of our own efforts, here’s a couple of limericks from the dubious talents of your True Classics crew …
Everyone in Frisco, it seems
Seeks the jeweled bird that gleams.
But in the end, it’s for naught
For the thing they all sought
Is only the stuff of dreams.
(The Maltese Falcon, 1941)
An overnight mother is driven
To return the baby she’s given
But the babe is appealing,
And maternal, she’s feeling,
So she keeps it–AND David Niven!
(Bachelor Mother, 1939)
Okay, so this last one, revolving around one of the most famous lines in movie history, is … well, it’s pretty damn raunchy (and yes, it came directly from the not-so-beautiful mind of yours truly). And because of that, I’ve whited it out so as not to offend anyone who might not care to read it. Just highlight the white space below and you’ll be able to see it. (And if you’re offended after the fact, well, that’s not my fault, because I just warned you!)
“Rosebud,” they said in the obit,
Was the last word his voice ever writ.
They all searched in vain
For the secret of Kane,
Not knowing they all sought a clit.
(Citizen Kane, 1941)
(For those wondering what this means, this article explains it pretty well.)
So now it’s YOUR turn … give it your best shot, and get rhymin’! Entries must be posted by midnight on November 29th. And make sure to send us an email or leave a comment on this post once your entry is complete!